I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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