Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
NoShamevember. You game?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
