Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize