Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
