People in love make me want to vomit
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
