Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
