I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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