i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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