On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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