He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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