Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
