Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
