im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
