I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The maid of honor just puked.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
