How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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