You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
