he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
