I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
