My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize