Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Sext me about skeletons
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
