My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
jump out the window naked night went bad
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
