On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
