Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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