So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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