if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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