do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
