It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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