Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
