STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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