that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
