If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
