used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
