Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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