I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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