Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
