I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize