weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
