Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
