Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
