Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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