I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
