If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize