i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
