Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
