In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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