Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
