i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
