break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize