it hurts more in the daytime
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize