We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
