hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
