told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
