somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
