i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
