She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
