I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
