I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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