Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
