I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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